four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
