so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
