shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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