found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
