I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
