gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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