My hand turned me down
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
