she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
