I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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