Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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