Me too!
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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