She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
