the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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