I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
