it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
