yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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