i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
