yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
