As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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