i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
