I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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