one might say we're banned from that church
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
