He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
