i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
