I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
