I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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