Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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