9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
