Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
