can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
