dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
