I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
