seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
