I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
