White coat. Heels.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
