YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
