Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Randomize
