Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Randomize
