direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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