Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
