i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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