Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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