i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
