Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
