I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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