Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
