My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
