I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
