he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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