seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
