I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
