these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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