i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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