i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
