Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
