i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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