Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
