I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
