im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
