Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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